Do you often feel awkward and at a loss when communicating with strangers?
Do you find your tone inconsistent when speaking in front of a group? Do you often feel tired of dealing with crowds and crave spending the whole day in your own space, avoiding contact with others?
For a long time, these behaviors have typically been seen as typical traits of introversion.
However, in the late 20th century, the psychological community began to include these behaviors in the definition of social anxiety disorder.
Social anxiety disorder is a neurotic disorder, with its main symptoms including excessive worry and nervousness about social activities or environments.
For example, going shopping in a busy mall or dining at a street corner restaurant, which are commonplace activities for most people, can be significant challenges for individuals with social anxiety disorder.
When individuals find themselves in unfamiliar environments or facing strangers, they may experience dry mouth, rapid breathing, increased heart rate, and even sweaty palms.
In severe cases, individuals with social anxiety disorder may even faint due to extreme fear of strangers.
These physical reactions, in turn, exacerbate the individual's psychological discomfort, leading them to gradually develop a fixed belief of "I am not good at socializing," thus reinforcing this idea.
Over time, this can spark a strong sense of frustration in the individual and make them more inclined to avoid social situations.
Thus, an inadvertent vicious cycle is formed.
To correctly distinguish social anxiety disorder from introverted personality, one can refer to the clear diagnostic criteria for social anxiety disorder in the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). There are six criteria:
- Persistent fear of specific social situations;
- Fear of negative evaluation by others;
- Increasing anxiety levels as social activities approach;
- Avoidance of specific social activities for more than six months;
- Anxiety levels exceed what is appropriate for the situation, and the behaviors exhibited appear excessive;
- This social anxiety has a significant negative impact on the individual's work, life, and study.
Although individuals with an introverted personality may show some signs of social anxiety, the duration of these symptoms and their impact on life are usually far less severe than those experienced by individuals with social anxiety disorder.
Currently, over 80% of individuals with social anxiety disorder receiving psychological treatment are young people aged 25 and under, and the majority are female (58%).
This is directly related to the academic and workplace pressures faced by adolescents.
Students focus on their studies for long periods, while new employees are busy with their duties, leading to a lack of opportunities for deep communication with others, which over time may evolve into social anxiety disorder.
When we notice signs of social anxiety in friends or family members, how can we effectively help them out of this predicament?
The advice I provide is to first take your own needs seriously.
If you genuinely value social interaction and desire to establish close social connections, then you must first recognize that these needs are normal and achievable.
You may often feel shy, awkward, or unsure how to engage with others.
However, when faced with these social challenges, you should not choose to avoid or give up on yourself, but rather try to make some changes.
Use "weak ties," i.e., interpersonal relationships that are not frequent or emotionally deep.
If you feel that your social circle is too narrow, you should start to utilize these weak ties.
For example, you can meet more new friends by attending parties hosted by your friends.
These new connections don't need to be deep; simply maintaining surface-level interactions can enhance your confidence and sense of security.
Practice "self-disclosure," consciously revealing personal information to others.
This is an important social skill that can quickly bring you closer to others.
Many times, people feel undervalued or misunderstood because an overly strong sense of self-protection makes it difficult for others to approach or understand their true selves.
From a psychological perspective, moderately displaying your vulnerability can quickly enhance intimacy with friends. During this process, you may also attract those with similar interests or life experiences.
Social anxiety disorder may make people feel lonely and misunderstood, but by recognizing your needs, actively trying to connect with others, and learning to moderately display your vulnerability, you can help overcome this predicament.
Therefore, don't let social anxiety disorder become a stumbling block to your social interactions. Instead, bravely face the challenge, strive to seek intimate connections with others, and enjoy the fun and support that interpersonal interactions bring.
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